gone
by Panorama
Summary: the last chapter in return of specter: dimension x, only half cut off. pretty deprssing, but not to bad, its cut off to keep out to manny spoilers.


okay, major spoilerish if your reading the return of specter book. also depressing.

disclaimer- nope, not mine. i only own its two games that are here in the usa. but if i wouldn't mind owning jake

on with the book!

jake watched spike's form stop breathing in horror. he couldent be...he couldent be dead...he couldent. an image of a smiling spike came up in his mind.

"spike..?" he asked, gently shaking him.

he dident move, his eyes dident open.

"spike...onegai, wake up..." he tried again.

the boy dident even twitch.

and jake somehow knew better than anyone, that spike wasent coming back.

"why...why? things were...were finally going well...everyone was safe, we were finally together...why!" the boy sobbed.

it hurt. he just couldent beleive it. he knew, some how, he knew this would happen. but why now? why after he'd finally told the boy his feelings, after having the other boy return those feelings, after everything that could have been? he cried, but with each tear, he began to not feel anything. the hard pavement beneath his knees, the cold rain hitting his face, the motionless body of his used to be loved one. nothing. nothing but the dull ache in his heart, and the pain of seeing his lover's death repeat over and over again in his minds eye. it was beginning to be so perfect...but that idiot had to go and kill him. why spike? why not him? was it because spike had less life in him than jake? it was all his fault...his fault that that fool had shot spike, his fault for nearly killing spike before out of rage. no matter what, he couldent blame anyone but himself. he was the one at fault. not spike, not Natalie, not specter, not the idiot who shot spike and destroyed the last cookie. if jake looked, he could see the soggy cookie bits that rested next to spike. he couldent blame anyone but himself.

"I'm sorry...i'm so sorry spike. i...i should have been smart, should have been faster..." he sobbed, holding spike closer to himself.

slowly he began to feel things again. the first thing being the warm blood mixing with his own. he looked down at the boy in his arms and wiped the damp hair from his closed eyes. his skin was pale, sickeningly so. even in death spike looked happy. a small smile still graced his whitening face, his eyes closed in a peaceful sleeping manner. then jake remembered, he remembered spike's last words.

"don't_ cry...no matter what..i'll always be here for you. right here." he smiled and placed a weak hand on jake's heart._

the said placed a hand his heart,"always there...you always have been...and i hope you will be this time to." he said, smiling a little.

he held the boy in his arms and smiled,"theres always another way to see you as well." he whispered.

with that jake placed a small kiss on his forehead and stood. he'd make sure the others gave him a proper burial before he left. he did as he planned and told the group what happened, leaving out what happened before that of course. couldent have them hating him yet, now could he? a week later after spike's funeral he walked to the lab. no one was there at the moment, and as long as Natalie stayed away from the time station he was fine. he walked into the empty room that housed the time machine and smiled sadly. he'd miss everyone he knew here, but hey, when this was over, he'd see them again. he walked to the computer and typed in the coordinate before and was about to press the go button when Natalie came in. he turned to look at her as she had a look of shock on her face.

"your really going to do it arent you..." she asked sadly.

jake nodded,"i cant stand it. i need him, Natalie. if i have to go one more day without him, I'll die." he said sadly, though no tears fell. he was hoping she wouldn't come...

she smiled sadly and wiped the welling tears from her eyes,"i understand. I'm sorry, it was my fault--"

"no its not. i went out of control. its my fault he dident have enough cookies to stand up against that guy." he said seriously.

"gomen. at least remember us when you leave though." she said smiling.

"i will." don't worry... he thought.

"good bye then. call me and tell me if it works out, kay?" she said tossing a communicator to him

jake caught it in a somewhat clumsy movement,"i will. ja!" he said smiling.

Natalie waved goodbye before backing from the room.

in a quick movement jake pressed the button, sending the room into a blur of colors. when they died down, he no longer stood there.

"bye. good luck." Natalie said softly.

no! i killed spike! oh well, theres a sequel ya know. lets just finish the first book though. i gotta stop skipping chapters. Sorry if its ooc.

translations-

onegai- please

gomen- I'm sorry

ja- bye

well, ja ne!


End file.
